Messed up weekend

Hey guys I just want to ask anyone for some advice regarding an issue I have because of what happened over the weekend ..

I had booked a getaway girls trip for me and my bridesmaids well it all was going great we got there we started drinking and (please don’t judge) we started doing some coke (I know not a good idea) but it happened anyways me and my friend were talking and at this point I’m very drunk and messed up and I was saying a lot of things to her like “I don’t feel like you want to be in my wedding and that I feel like you just want it be over blah blah” I was saying these things because she was making feel like this over the course of this year with the planning and whatnot she kept going on about other things and it was very messed up but at one point I just said to her if you have a problem with me then we should just duke it out right here - I STILL DONT KNOW WHY I WOULD FIGHT HER. being high I totally lost sight of reality and what I was saying and doing. She was very high as well and she kept telling me that her husband doesn’t like me because he thinks I disturb the shit between them two (honestly i brought 2 things up in front of them that she said was bothering her and couldn’t bring it up - and she never got mad at me when I did bring it up cause she was able to talk about it with him) I regret it.

Anyways there was a lot that she said to me and that happened but I’m feeling like on my part I have severely messed up - she did not acknowledge a lot of the things she said or did but I do so I apologized and told her I felt very ashamed and bad for the things I said.

Now I’m sober, dwelling, recapping the night, feeling down, hating myself in the skin I am in and wishing none of it happened but it did. My whole being is screaming of shame and embarrassment .

To make matters even more strange she stayed the whole weekend I apologized over and over to her she told me not to worry about it. But knowing her i feel as if though she doesn’t care and wants to be done with me. What should I do? I’m sorry if this post was long and doesn’t make much sense I’m just lost and looking for direction.

Update: I never asked anything from them. I have done this wedding with my fiancé being very understanding of their situation.

I’ve apologized over and over again she says “don’t worry about it” but she hasn’t apologized or cared to ask how I’m feeling weird thing is she invited us out to go to the spa and such but today I texted her to confirm the day and she has yet to text me or acknowledge the text.