6 years ago my mom kicked me out I was 13 , she suffers from multiple mental illnesses (bipolar , multiple personalities, ptsd , etc the list could go on forever) at that point her illness had gotten the best of her and she went back to doing drugs and drinking and one day she kicked me out cause I wouldn’t let her drink or do drugs . I thought I was so lucky to have a boyfriend that had understanding parents and let me live with them well that turned out to be a night mare after about 3 months things started going down hill my boyfriend we will called him D started verbally abusing me he would tell me if a popular girl at school liked him he would leave me he would call me fat and worthless and trash, he would also constantly say how much hotter other girls were . I would cry myself to sleep every night . After a while the abuse turned physical he would hit me if I didn’t do whatever he said including sex , prior to the abuse I was peer pressured into losing my virginity to him because all my friends would constantly bragging about how they were already very sexually active and we were all 13/14 at the time . Between that my mom kicking me out and D constantly bugging me to have sex with him I finally gave in even tho I didn’t really want to and boy do I wish I would have never gave special one in a life time experience to him that only made him feel more powerful and when I think back I wonder if I could have stopped the very day torture if I would have never let him the first time . He seen how easy I was to manipulate due to my broken mental state at the time with everything that was going on with my mom . To this very day I still get nightmares about him and constantly feel used , dirty , and worthless even tho I’ve been in a relationship with my true love and protector for a few years now . He had helped me get through a lot of the pain D caused but recently my would got flipped upside down when I went to my family reunion this past week and see my mom she pulled me to the side and said my roommate wanted me to tell you that he still loves you and that you’ll always be his , at first I was confused then I started thinking the only person I dated in this town was D so I asked my mom and she confirmed that he was living with her because his dad kicked him out for doing drugs and being an alcoholic, he also has been in jail multiple times in the past 4 years for burglary, I seriously just froze I didn’t even know what to think out do my love seen my face and walked up and wisked me away to talk and I told him he was beyond mad he wanted to go straight to my moms house and f*** D up but I stopped him only because I need him and don’t want him to go to jail . I thought about killing D while I was there a few times wondering if it would just make everything go away I was finally in a good mental place and now D had to come back into my life 😭😭😭 To make it even worse my mom texted me last night saying D got into some trouble so I need to find out how to contact his dad or sister , I flipped on my mom I told he I wouldn’t help him even if I had the numbers he’s trash and deserves what ever he gets after what he did to me if it was up to me he would be dead . I guess the whole point of me posting this is to get it out there and maybe gain some support, and advice how to handle my mom . And I know some people are probably wondering if and why I never went to the police about him it’s because we lived in such a small tight knit town called sparta , North Carolina that all abuse and rapes that have been reported get swept under the rug because it will make the sweet little town “look bad” . Ill gladly tell y’all more about that in the comments if you are curious