my parents got divorced when I.was five. My mom was suffering from alcoholism my whole life and i have always been in an unhealthy household. My parents were abusive towards eachother and after the divorce, my mom turned manipulative and abusive as well. She was drunk every night. We dont really have much money, so we have to find a way to make what we have last. We barely live paycheck to paycheck. On January 1, 2011, my mom met... let's call him Sperm donor. She was with him for 4 years and let me tell you, that 4 years was actually the worst four years of my life. Not really gonna go into extreme detail on that story but long story short, Sperm donor was abusive to all of us. My mom and I got the worst of it. He sexually assaulted me almost every day from the ages of 8 to 11 (other than when we moved: I'll explain later). Well when I was eight, we moved out of the house that was next to my uncle, and moved into the house across from my elementary school playground. Everyone saw everything that went on there. It was horrible. My school life sucked. I was bullied every single day and came home crying. Eventually my mom left the piece of crap because when I was 9 she walked into my room with Sperm donor in my bed with me, and we moved to my grammas which was two hours away. We lived with my mom’s mom for about 4 or 5 months. However my mom was 7 months preggo so that was fun. All three of us (my mom, my brother, and I) shared a futon bed the whole time we lived there. The bullying was even worse there. My brother and I were miserable. I had to leave all of my friends and my “boyfriend”. So did my brother, save the boyfriend part. Then my mom got back together with Sperm donor after my little brother was born in February of 2013. We moved back just in time for it to be awkward enough to finish my fourth grade year off. News flash, fifth grade also sucked. I got introduced to a guy that later in life one of them tried to take advantage of me but I had more balls than he did (again I'll explain later). We ended up moving out of the house in 2015 while Sperm donor was at work and my mom immediately got into a relationship with a guy she met at work.  On July 8th, 2015, I told my mom what Sperm donor had done to me. Well first I told the guy she met at work. It slipped. He told my mom. July 9th, 2015, Sperm donor was convicted for the first time. For the last six years I have been dealing with this ongoing court investigation because my dumb butt didn't tell sooner. Recently during a performance I was in, a friend of mine I considered a brother (the one I met in fifth grade), thought it would be a fun idea to try and get in my pants. Without my permission. He pulled back my bra and looked down my shirt, he made me sit on his lap while he had a boner, and he put his hands down my underwear. I'm not gonna lie, I had a ptsd attack backstage. I've been battling depression, anxiety, and ptsd for the past seven years. For the most part I have been able to deal with it pretty well, but I was in the hospital in December of last year due to attempted suicide. I have learned now that I am wanted and I am loved. You are always stronger than you think. Please always keep fighting, never give up. You are loved. You are worth more than gold. Please please please love yourself and dont let anyone hurt you like I did. If I can do it, so can you. Dream big and follow that dream.