I was unable to breastfeed my daughter. I wanted to so bad but she wouldn’t latch and I couldn’t get my supply up by just pumping. even pumping every 2 hours day and night was not enough. I tried lactation cookies, supplements, teas, lots of water and food but it didn’t help. I tried so hard. I wanted to so bad. The whole thing left my feeling like a complete failure and was I think was the onset of my postpartum depression. My daughter is now 6 months old and doing great. Though my postpartum depression has only gotten worse due to other factors I thought I was over the breastfeeding thing for the most part. Last night my sister in law had her 3rd baby. I went to visit her today and she was breastfeeding the whole time. Her baby was a preemie. They know she would be. Even so her baby had no problems latching and her milk had already started to come in. All those feelings of failure just came flooding back as I saw how effortless it was for her. I feel like a worthless person. I should be happy my daughter is doing well but I’m not. I’m a horrible mother. I love my daughter so so much more than anything but I get angry at my daughter very often I know it’s because of the postpartum but I still feel worthless. I haven’t gone to the doctor. I feel no one will take me seriously since I’ve said I was fine for so long. I hate myself all the time. There’s never an entire day where I feel ok. Only a few hours at a time. I hate feeling this way I just want it to go away.