Daddy is a poop head

First of all I'm so happy I found a place where I can share my feelings without hiding who I am.

So Daddy has been going through a really bad depressive episode for a while now. recently he did something very un Daddy like and he through himself a pity party. I told him good morning and his response was that he was a horrible Daddy and he was sorry. ever since then I have been off. I don't know if I'm channeling his own self hate or if it triggered something in me but I have realized the past few weeks that I am hating myself pretty bad.

i hate that i put weight back on (Daddy says it's just been a rough few months and i will get it back off), my rosacea is flaring horribly, and if I think about Daddy at all I get terribly homesick for him. I just don't have the energy to feel bad so I've been ignoring him. which makes me feel a little guilty. even when he doesn't feel well I usually still at least say good morning and goodnight. I just want to pout and not be my normal sweet self. I'm not ready to play nice yet. though I do miss him