Was this assault? (Trigger warning: detail)

My boyfriend has done some things that have made me really uncomfortable, and lately it’s all I’ve been thinking about. I’ve asked my friends before, and they all say it was assault but I’m not sure, because I feel like I could have been more assertive to stop it.

There are three separate instances that could be considered assault.

#1: my boyfriend wanted to have sex. I didn’t, and I told him that. He wanted me to give him a handjob instead. I said I didn’t want to. So he started doing it himself. A while into it he started kissing me and eventually took my hand and put it on him, essentially pressuring me even further to giving him a handjob. I did, even though I really didn’t want to, but I didn’t take my hand away or tell him to stop.

#2: (things like this have happened several times, but this particular time was worse) again, my boyfriend wanted to have sex. I didn’t, and told him that I didn’t want to because I was too tired. He started making out with me and grinding on me and rubbing/touching me for a while. I don’t remember if during this I explicitly told him no or to stop, but I do know that I had expressed in some way a few times that I wanted him to stop.

#3: my boyfriend wanted me to give him a handjob. I didn’t want to and I told him that. He said he would masturbate instead, and I said fine, and told him to do it in the bathroom. He made up stupid and bullshit excuses not to go to the bathroom for some reason, and proceeded to masturbate right beside me even though I had told him it made me uncomfortable.

I just don’t know if all of these, or any, would be considered sexual assault especially because while it happened, I didn’t defend myself and just let it happen. He is my first boyfriend, and I am naive when it comes to this stuff. I’ve told him about #1 and 2 and how my friends said it was assault, but i didn’t take it seriously when I told him this and took it very lightly, because he’s super sensitive and annoying when I confront him about anything, he’ll get upset and later threaten to harm himself so I’m the one who ends up apologizing in the long run.