So, I’m 7 weeks pregnant. Not planned. I was supposed to move away for university in September.

I’ve known about my pregnancy for a month, and I’ve slowly been going downhill since then.

Today I just broke down and cried for hours. Only a few people know I’m pregnant, and all they do is judge me for my choices and they way I deal with things. Even my boyfriend doesn’t get it. I can’t tell my parents I’m pregnant yet, because of the university situation. So I’m dealing with this all on my own.

My boyfriend works every day. 9am to 8pm most days. I got bullied into quitting my job by my manager so I currently have no money to even leave the house.

I feel trapped. If it isn’t money, it’s because I’m too sick with morning sickness to move. Every day I’m too sick to leave the bed really. I feel isolated from everyone.

I’m starving, I mostly can’t eat a thing because of sickness and if I feel like i can eat, there isn’t any food here. I haven’t eaten a single thing for two days.

Every night I dread waking up the next day because it’s all going to be the same. Not a single change of scenery.

My boyfriend keeps laughing whenever I try to be serious. He doesn’t take me seriously most of the time if i complain about many problems.

I’ve loved him unconditionally for a long time and my feelings have never changed. But the idea of sex makes me feel sick, I don’t want it, but he asks and asks and I just don’t want him to worry that I don’t love him anymore so I do it as much as I can but then part of me resents him afterwards and every time this happens I feel like I lose affection for him. I can barely give him a hug anymore because I feel so low and just don’t want to be touched and I want to be alone. I know its mostly hormones, I’m up and down all the time. But I’m getting paranoid that I’m falling out of love with him.

I’m so miserable, I can’t look forward to anything anymore. I’m going travelling around Italy, Spain and France next week and I’m not excited at all. I just feel empty.

All I want to do is end my life. I can’t see any happiness anymore. I can’t see myself getting any kind of satisfaction from anything I do now. And to top it all off, I’m gaining a lot of weight when I’ve always been naturally super thin, everyone keeps commenting and lowering my confidence even more. Since being pregnant I’ve gotten terrible acne. I feel disgusting in myself.

I want it all to end.

I won’t do anything to harm myself or my baby. I just wanted to get my feelings out. Hopefully someone will understand.