I have no one really to talk to about this. My family just tells me I’m pretty and size doesn’t matter. I’m an 18 year old and I weigh 246 pounds. I am super overweight. Throughout my life I’ve known this, I’ve constantly been reminded. I’ve had on boyfriend and he knew me. But we had I very toxic relationship. I miss him a lot cause he made me feel seen. I’ve been trying to up myself out there but nothing seems to work. I was raped for several years and my mom still lives with him. I continue to live in the same uncomfortable house everything happened. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. This has contributed to my over eating problem. I eat to make myself look bigger so he won’t want me but by doing that no one wants me. Everything my family has said to me I’ve told myself so many worst things. I don’t want to self harm but it’s like my arms are aching for me to slide a blade across my wrist. I want to die but I don’t want to. It’s more like I just want this feeling of someone constantly moving a knife around in my chest. I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. I cant go to therapy anymore but I can’t talk to my family either. I just need someone to talk to who feels the same way . I don’t really know what to do. I’m at my breaking point . I don’t think I have every felt this disgusted with myself or this desperate to latch on to anyone that will listen...