what do you think of my story that I am thinking of publishing at one stage, its called "murderous placement" any comments would be greatly appreciated

Louise

The stench of cigarette smoke filled my apartment with its odour as I lit yet another death stick in my hands. The flames of my lighter danced around in a perfect harmony, letting out a small sizzling sound, almost as though they were crying out.

You tend to notice these things when you live a life like I have. Alone in your stuffy little bubble, not bothering to let anyone else inside. No family to call your own and no job to obsess over like any other man my age.

"Pathetic." I mumbled to myself as I proceeded to grab my third cup of coffee. It was at moments like these that I wish That I got the grades that i needed in school, get the job I wanted. Maybe even meet the love of my life and settle down to have a family. To late now though. Mixing the sugar into my coffee the phone began to ring.

"Probably the landlord telling me to get lost." I spoke to no one in particular, leaving the cup and walking towards the phone. Ever had the feeling that you were constantly being watched, even while doing such a simple task. That is how I felt right now. Quite frankly it terrifies me.

"Hello?"

"Are you Leo Manhunt?" Spoke a male voice from the other side of the phone. His voice was slightly muffled though, making it hard to distinguish whether it was their actual voice or not. For all I know this could Be some chick.

"Who is asking?"

"No one that you should consern yourself with. Now listen closely as I am only going to say this once. Go and stand outside the Bank Nearest your home Tomorrow at 2:30. Don't Ask why just do it." And with that the line was cut off and I was left standing in my apartment with the phone in my hand gapping like an idiot. What could this mean? What could happen to me tomorrow?

............

It was the day after I received that creepy phone call and I was less then okay. I dont know why I listened to that guy and stood outside Loyds Bank for half and hour but thats just how things ended up. People walked past me, going through their everyday lives. I kinda wish I was right now, But Instead I was Standing outside this bank looking like a freak. Who Am I supposed to be looking out for anyway? I have no Idea what I am doing.

"This is what you are doing with your life Leo, waiting for a mysterious person who called you last night who may not even show up. Amazing." I spoke to myself, people giving me odd looks. They probably thought I was phycopathic or something. Waiting for another ten minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around slowly I was blind folded and dragged away. Kidnapped?!

"Settle down Manhunt!" Bellowed a fearsome, female voice from a indistinguishable direction.

"Where am I?! Who are you? What do you want?"

"calm down for two seconds geez! This is why I hate men." Suddenly the blind fold was taken off and I was able to assess my surroundings. I was handcuffed in what seemed like the back of a security van, there was high tech everywhere I looked. Pretty cool stuff. The walls were black and there was three people in front of me.

One of them was a tall, stern looking man. His head was lacking with any hair, and he wore a black suit and sun glasses. May need to stay clear of that one. Another being another man but this one seemed a lot more approachable, he was Indian by the looks of things and he also wore a black suit. But the centre of the room was defiantly the final one. She was a woman dressed Pretty much the same only in a skirt instead of suit pants. She has blond hair tied up into a tight bun with a few strand loose here and there. Striking blue eyes that glared at me and what looked like a black tattoo on her right hand.

"Welcome Manhunt." She spoke with no grace in her voice, she had no womanly charm at all.

"Pleased to be here," I spoke sarcastically. "I shall be going now." I spoke, getting up from where I was previously kneeling.

"SIT!!!" The woman Bellowed, almost popping My eardrums. Obediently I sat back down, my metaphorical tail inbatween my legs like a dog.

"Good now let me introduce you to everyone. This is my body guard. I don't actually know his name he is just perminatly silent. And this is detective Masood, his family is originally from India."

"Nice to meet you." I nodded at the two gentlemen in front of me.

"And I am Miss stone or more commonly known as Head detective stone. Welcome to the force, your first assignment starts today."

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"What?!"