Even though I am surrounded by supportive people I felt like I am grieving alone. It could be that only I know the real pain about losing this pregnancy, I feel they just feel sad about seeing me sad but they’re not hurt by the loss. In November my SIL miscarried at 16 weeks. I was there to support her and now she is here supporting me and i feel she’s the only one who truly understands my pain. I was only about 4 weeks my baby would of been born around my 24th birthday. I fantasized about the idea of having my birthday twin. I have an 18 month old and she is the reason why I keep my tears in. I don’t want her to see me cry, she gets scared and rushes over to confort me. She has caught me crying twice and she rushed over to hug me both times. You would not believe how comforting that felt. Although I don’t want to scare her maybe I should and let her comfort me. Just cry it all out and let her comfort me. Believe it or not, when she’s holding my head in between her tiny arms I feel no pain. I feel no suffering, she takes it all away as she rubs my head with one hand and taps on my back with the other. She is just 18 months and seem to know what’s happening. She is so smart and beautiful. She’s my world. When she caught me crying the last time she cried with me and only then I realized not only I lost a child, but my child lost a sibling. Even though the baby is in heaven my Valentina will forever be the older sister, and my hero. She rescued me when I most needed it.