I’m going to post this anonymously because I feel so guilty.

It took us over 3 years (with losses) to finally get our daughter here in 2017. The entire time I was pregnant with her I was scared, but so so excited.

She’s 14 months old now and the light of our lives. She and I have spent every waking moment together since she was born, less a handful of days with grandma and grandpa. We even sing the “three best friends song” aloud in the grocery store.

We want so badly to give her a sibling, and of course to have another baby to love.

I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant again - after trying for one month- and I’m still shocked after a week. I’m also starting to think “did we make a mistake??” “What am I doing!??!” Because I feel so crappy physically already, and that takes away my being able to spend quality time with my daughter. Plus I worry she will feel so left out when the baby is born.

This is so cliche - and I know that I will - but it’s so hard to picture loving another baby as much as I love her.

Anyone else understand these feelings? Have you been through it? Ugh. I’m a horrible person.