Hi ladies! I need your advice:

I’m 32, my husband and I got got married last March and have been together for almost 15 years. We found out in April that we’re expecting our first child and couldn’t be more thrilled. It will be my parents first grandchild and the first baby on his side of the family.

We decided that we were going to go home to California to visit family for Labor Day weekend before I got too far along that I wouldn’t be able to travel. So my mother thought that it would be perfect to have baby shower and invite our family instead of traveling all over the place to see everyone. Great idea!

Now the problem: my parents are paying for the party to be had at a local restaurant. I had already expressed to my mom that I didn’t want to invite a certain cousin, because she’s a very messy person and I have never cared for her. I mean the woman talks horribly about her own grown children to others like a dog. And I just don’t have respect for people like that, and people who do nothing but gossip. I didn’t want to invite her to my wedding, but my parents said it wouldn’t be right. She never RVSP’d and showed up with a guest, and her whole energy just wasn’t right. I personally think she just came to be nosey and see what our wedding looked like and if it was fancy/expensive. Anyway, my parents called me last night and said that we should invite her. This is my Dad’s cousin, and he was all “don’t be like that. It’ll be a problem if we don’t invite her and if she found out. Blah blah” I personally don’t want any shit on my day. I’ve invited my brother’s ex, cus she’s like family and my cousin doesn’t care for her. There’s also other family coming that don’t care for her. And I just don’t want to be around her. My husband is COMPLETELY AGAINST inviting her.

How do I have this conversation with my folks? Neither my husband and I want her there, and my folks want me to invite her. Does it matter that their throwing the baby shower and paying for it? Do I not have a say? My husband repeatedly says if she’s invited, it’ll be a problem.

Thank you so much ladies!