How do I breakup with my boyfriend

I’ve been very close to breaking up with him probably 10 times (not exaggerating) and never seem to. I guess we talk things out or he convinces me things aren’t that bad. I don’t know what to do . I don’t feel good I don’t feel happy. I feel happy once in a while . Like last week we went to a festival but just argue so much. That day we ended up arguing because I don’t want to live without him after college but after doing my masters and it was horrible he was like super upset with me. I feel like I make him upset about so many things. Like I can’t go out often because of job and taking care of my siblings . I don’t have a car so I guess I make him bored. English is not my first language so conversations aren’t really as fun or smart as he would like them. I never cum during sex. I’m very jealous I don’t trust him he also doesn’t trust me because I asked a guy which picture I should post on ig and because I have talked to my ex. I also lied about my virginity but he still had sex with me. I feel so guilty nasty about so many things but yet so attached. We had a future planned I just want to end this 😭