Did I do the right thing?

Possible trigger warning because I personally believe this shit is fucked up.

So I’m in a WhatsApp group with my husband, his parents, and his extended family (mainly his dads Irish cousins etc) we don’t see them often, maybe twice a year we will go to Dublin to watch a football match/rugby match/celebrate someone’s birthday. But this group is our main line of communication.

There’s a few members of the group who you would argue are from an older generation, and I don’t necessarily mean with age but more their values (for example when we recently went on a weeks holiday with them one of them ‘jokingly’ scolded me when he found my husband ironing his own shirts because apparently I should be doing that...) anyway you get my drift. Bear in mind for this next bit though that my husband has grown up with this group and for the most part loves them and they love him. I’ve only met them a handful of times.

So one member of the group, who I haven’t actually met because he’s a bit weird and never comes to family get together a puts this in the group.

THIS PICTURE IS THE TW BTW

He is neither of the users on that picture, it’s a picture he’s obviously got from Facebook/Twitter.

Now I’ve muted this group because for the most part they just chat about sports and I can’t be bothered with my phone going off all the time, I just check in and read back every now and then. But my husband replies regularly. He opens this and his face drops. I’m like “oh god what’s wrong?!” And he says “just don’t look in the group it’ll really upset you”. Obviously that makes me and his parents all look at once (we’re currently away on holiday with them). None of them laugh, they all look horrified. But no one says anything. No one replies. I start to say “that’s fucking disgusting” and my husband goes “I know it’s awful, but he’s a different generation, he’s a bit weird, blah blah blah” and his parents agree so I just shut my mouth.

But you know what plays on a loop all fucking night in my head? A poem we were read in year 9 English class. That poem by Martin Niemoeller called “first they came...” (got a picture below)

And I’m seething.

I tell my husband that it’s made me so angry. And he tells me that he loves this about me, but that it’s not worth the fall out with his family.

(Important to note here hat not a single other member of this group - and there are 20 odd - have replied to this original post. It’s not like they’re all sending “hahaha 😂” but still, no fucker is saying a single word)

And I think that’s what annoys me the most. Because silence, in my persona view, is allowing this to happen. If it goes unchallenged, these views will continue.

So I send my reply and leave the group:

In case it’s cut off part of the picture, I said “that ‘joke’ was barely funny in the 70s, never mind in 2018. Disgusting”

Then I left the group.

Now I’m worried I’m going to have rocked the boat too much and ruin a relationship my husband had with his Irish relatives that really mean the world to him (because I think I’d push came to shove they would stick together, although I can’t know this for sure) but at the same time I’m so fucking angry that I’ve been out in this position where I’m having to question my own actions and morals.

What would you have done?