Since I was about 10, I started becoming SUPER self conscious with myself. My brother always had his friends over to laugh at me about my big four-head, which was never that big but they found it amusing, I always thought I was fat, (ALWAYS was the tallest in my classes from 3rd grade through 6th grade) being 5"4' weighing 118 lbs in 7th grade when your friends are 5"2' 90lbs, because my mom would tell me "you're getting a little chunky, just start watching what you're eating so you don't get out of control", and still to this day I look in the mirror and if I talk and watch myself, I get angry because I HATE the way I talk and sometimes, the way I look (am 5"4' 153 lbs). I've been touched, sexually, by grown ass men from the time I was 9 years old up until now being 25 years old. And no not by 25 year old guys I was flirting with, by 65 year old men being only 9 years old and 45 year old MARRIED guys while only being 20 and him being my dads friend which I never put off signals too or gave consent. Meanwhile, I am also married.

Girls, don't get me wrong or twisted, I have AMAZING parents. My dad would do whatever it took to support me, and my mom just does whatever she can to keep us happy. My parents are NOT to blame.

I'm just venting at the fact that being me right now feels.. well, not so good. I think back about how time probably were back in the early years and how women constantly got raped or hurt or had to raise children at 15 years old and all that seemed to be normal at the time. I don't even feel fair about venting or letting this out but I have to tell someone. My mom told me stories about when she was little, she can't ever give detail or finish, but she told me she was raped and molested by men in her family.. but she turned out so great.

ANYWAYS, today I did my make up.

I was stopped at a red light while my visor was down and I seen in the mirror my eyebrow and my eye. (Obviously)

Long story short (lol) I LOVE how I did my eyebrow and my eyes 😍 they're so PRETTY! I see sunflowers in them. Yellow, black in the center and just green around, like grass. I'm beautiful. I only with I could've recognized this sooner.

Thank you for reading lovely ladies.