I'm 40, will be 41 in September. Was on depo for about 7 years, ages 18-25. Married at 25, infrequent sex, no pregnancy. Remarried at 33 in 2010. Husband had had a vasectomy. Had it reversed in 2012. TTC in a very laid back way until 2015. Nothing. Decided not to worry about it and leave it up to fate. Ended up pregnant in July, 2016 and have an almost 18 month old baby girl, the love of my life. We've wanted to give her a sibling and so continued to TTC.

Tested positive in August 2017 but miscarried at about 7 weeks. Doctors called it a chemical pregnancy. Continued to try and tested positive again in January 2018 but miscarried at 8 weeks in February 2018.

Have been trying the last 2 months but starting to worry. What if my daughter is just my miracle baby? What if I can't have more children? It seems like a good thing that I have been able to get pregnant twice since having my daughter but time is not on my side and it makes me so sad to think about not giving her a sibling.

Am I just worrying too much? Should I just relax and let whatever will be, be? I cry anytime I think about not having another baby but maybe it's not meant to be?

UPDATE: It's almost a year later and we finally did it! Tested on May 2 and saw the faintest of faint lines (top). Was pretty sure I was just going crazy but kept testing each day until the line got dark enough for me to believe it (and then some, just for good measure).

Scheduled a first OB appointment for May 23. They did a dating ultrasound because I believed I ovulated about a week late this cycle and I turned out to be right, measuring at 6 weeks 4 days.

Best news of all? We saw the baby's precious little heartbeat, pounding away at 120 bpm!

Doctor also took blood and HCG was 25,000. Also exciting because I had levels taken when I miscarried at almost the same DPO and they had only been 4,100 at that time.

So...so far, so good. I am praying for a sticky bean and staying positive. I will be 42 when this baby is due on January 12, 2020. I am trying to contain my excitement and impatiently counting down the days until the end of the dreaded first trimester.

I hope and pray my story has a happy ending, and I wish the same for everyone here.