i know you probably won’t care, or understand. and i know this is probably a waste of time. but i need to talk to someone before i start losing my mind, i didn’t know who else to come to, so i put it on this app... i have very very bad depression and anxiety, and over the last month i’ve started to have OCD, i have to turn of and on the light 7 times before i leave a room or my family will die, or if i can’t turn it off and on because i’m in a public place, i have to touch the light 7 times. i relapsed on cutting in may, and haven’t stopped. i keep trying to but i can’t, i feel like there is no place for me in this world. i feel useless, tired and just numb. it’s like the mix of anxiety and depression together just makes you feel numb. i overeat because i’m constently worrying, and i’m trying to lose weight. but it’s not working. my self confidence is so low it doesn’t even exist. i keep trying to keep myself happy, and do things i love. but i can’t. i don’t love anything. i hate doing everything i enjoyed before. i feel like i’m in this hole that i can’t get out of. i keep having panic attacks and i don’t want to hang out with anyone. i need help. i need medicine. and i need to be able to talk to someone about my problems. now just a friend. i need help. and i can’t get it. i’m going to try my best to though. i just feel stuck. like what’s the point? i have had multiple dreams about committing suicide over the past month. i don’t want to be here, i don’t talk to anyone about this though. because i feel annoying and sad. it feels like nobody cares, or wants me around. i feel like a waste of space. i really really need help. and i need to talk to someone before it gets worse.... my parents are divorced and my sister won’t talk to me or my family, so i’m alone. my mom is constantly happy, but i sit in my room crying myself to sleep, i have nothing to even be worried or sad about like this whole week is going to be exciting and yet i’m still here, crying. i don’t know what to do. i really don’t. i want to talk to a therapist or something without my mom knowing. but we don’t have money for that. and i can’t bring myself to ask. i honestly feel so upset and i can’t deal with it.