My son is 2 months old and though I've been wanting nothing more that to talk about my birth story, when i think about it-- I begin to sob.

i guess I'm lucky, he came home with me right away, breast feeding came naturally to both of us, I got to love and hold him right away.

but it wasn't what i wanted- it wasn't what i was so desperately looking forward to the whole pregnancy.

i was induced one week past my due date. and I was so depressed about it.

my uterus somehow stopped expanding for my baby to grow in. my contractions never regulated. my body had

completely let me down.

the week leading up to the induction I went into false labour 4 times. I was so excited everytime I felt a contraction I would get out my contraction timer and wake my boyfriend d to track with me. and everytime mother came of it.

so on may 25 and 7 am I went in for induction. and it took forever.

they gave me half of a pill that would make contractions regulate and half an hour later gave me a membrane sweep.

the. they left me for a few hours while my contractions increased. at 12:30 they checked me and I was 3 cm dialated and that was rounding up. so they started pitocin and gave me my epidural.

I continued to progress ever so slowly throughout the rest of the day. upping my pitocin every couple hours or so.

they broke my water fir me at 4:00

all day I kept thinking about what I missed. --my water breaking, contraction timing, the surprise and joy, the rush to the hospital, dealing with the contractions with my boyfriend. I thought about how wrong I felt and I began to not only hate myself but hate my body as well. how dare it fail me this way. how dare it take the most amazing experience of my life away from me.

but then 8:30 PM came around and I was finally fully dialated. the nurses told me to tell them when I felt like I needed to poop. within minutes I felt what they described and I began pushing at 9. after an hour my precious boy was born at 7lbs 11 oz and he was gorgeous.

and that's when I realized my body had not failed me, I was gifted with the most amazing creation on this planet, and i did that all by myself. I continued to be amazed when I started breastfeeding. i was nourishing my sweet boy with my body and giving him everything he would need.

my body did not fail me. my body gave me the gift of my son Karson. and I will be forever amaze8d by what my amazing

body is capable of.