So, I'm 25 weeks pregnant with my first baby & have severe depression. I have for yearsssss, and a couple years ago overdosed as well. My boyfriend knows this, and he knows my hormones have been making things worse. We fight a lot because I want to be treated the right way, and he thinks his way (yelling at me, making me cry, lying, etc) is the right way. I cry and get upset, and he gets mad. I try to tell him how I feel and he starts an argument, laughs at me, or completely blows me off. He makes me feel so horrible sometimes, but always promises to "change" or "be better." Whenever I tell him how I feel like he doesn't love me, or that he treats me badly he replies with "Lol" or "Lol are you serious." And I feel so stupid for saying anything. Finally, yesterday I told him how I honestly wish I was dead, and how he makes me feel that way. At first, he got mad at me for telling him & "dropping that on him." He said "how about I go tell your mom that, huh?" and I felt immediate regret for telling him. He continued to make me feel bad for it, and then went to take a nap. Later that night, he came over and was SO nice. (Sometimes after a few hours without speaking it's like he comes to his senses about being a fucking idiot.) He wanted to know exactly how I felt, cuddled me & told me he was so sorry and would be the best he could be for me & our daughter. He continued to reassure me of that after he went home, how he just wanted me happy, that I could tell him anything. Today, I got caught up doing something and when I could finally reply to him, he never even noticed that I was gone (2 hours later.) I know to some that's not a big deal, but it hurt to know he didn't even notice. 🤷🏽‍♀️ So me, stupidly thinking I could express how I feel, told him I feel like I could just disappear and he wouldn't notice (this isn't the first time at all he was completely oblivious to my absence) and he replied with "I would stop if I was you." I can't, but at the same time can, believe his little nice streak was over in less than 24 hours. To some, this may seem like no big deal. But to me, someone who's already struggling & full of crazy hormones, I don't know how to handle this anymore. I told him how he treats me is emotional abuse. He told me, "No I'm just mean, and you can't handle it." So ladies, which one would you say it is? And how have you dealt with depression in pregnancy alone?