I don't know what to do..

3 weeks into this... I still don't feel like my son is mine. I seriously feel like I'm babysitting and waiting on someone to come pick him up. I feel guilty for wanting a break and angry that I choose to breastfeed. He doesn't even latch so I pump exclusively knowing it is what is best. I know I should be grateful for this opportunity... I tried for almost 2 years for my precious baby boy... However I am so frustrated. I am tired of diapers, constant cuddles, feedings, baths, and feeling like a failure because there is never enough time in the day. I don't have the desire to do anything so all I make myself do is what needs to be done. I love on him, I feed him, bathe him, change him, and anything else he desires. I feed myself and drink water because that's what makes his food. I have never hated myself so badly. My fiance swears I am a good mom but how can I be when I don't even feel like this is my child.. How can I be when I regret having my son... Hoping it gets better soon but having little faith in it all.