Usually I'm pretty good at coping with my own company but lately I've found it tough.

My closest friends are all around the country and I don't see them much, if at all. It is not always easy to even chat online as they all have different life situations and commitments which I know takes priority. I moved here just over a year ago working for a charity which is mostly older women I have nothing in common.

I have hobbies which bring me in contact with other people and I have a few acquaintances.

What I have been really feeling most with the loneliness that I really wanted to talk with a friend about was that I'm single and just finding that pretty shit. I tried online dating since work and hobbies don't bring me in contact with any other social circles. However I found online dating pretty awful. I did date somebody last year I met online but they ended up ghosting out of what we had and never gave me a reason. I was hurt but in hindsight they were not very suitable. Going back to online hasn't brought anything as I either find that guys only want sex, their profiles don't appeal to me or I've chatted to folk miles away just in a friendly capacity and we had no interest other than chatting about our hobbies. I quit online dating as it just felt like such a soul sucking exercise and highlighted everything I don't want in a man. I guess in that it was a good lesson.

Ugh I just wish I didn't feel this way and sure a relationship is not a magical ticket to your problems going away, but everybody wants to feel loved and I have my life pretty well sorted. I just sometimes feel throwing myself into creative projects for my most sociable hobby is compensating by the accomplishment I get from it and video games are just an escape from it.