Should I Force My Daughter to Be at the Birth of Her Little Sister?

Question

My daughter is 15 years old and I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. It’s been a high risk pregnancy bc of my age, health and previous losses. I really want my daughter to be at the hospital with me but she’s adamantly against it. She’s SLOWLY and ever so slightly coming to terms with the fact that this baby will “take” and eventually come home with us but she’s been less than thrilled with the news. Bc of health issues, I will be having a C section. Can I make her come to the hospital just for the delivery/surgery part and have her know mom n baby are ok? Then let her go home? I really wish she were happier about it but I guess it is what it is. Thanks for any input!

Answer

Has forcing a teenager ever made them happier about a situation? I feel like anytime a teenager is forced to do something they don’t want to it just makes them not want to do it even more 😂 I know she’s your daughter but your infertility journey isn’t hers and you can’t expect her to be as excited about it, it’s a big change for any sibling, let alone a teenager who is already going through normal teenager “hardships.” Im sure she’ll come around but in my opinion it’ll take longer if you try to force it.

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I think forcing a 15 ur old tonne involved in something like is going to backfire. leave her be.

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I’d want to be alone with my fiancé in that situation. We were the only ones who made the baby

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When I was a teen, the more someone pushed and forced me to do things I didn’t, the harder I pulled back. 
Let her come to terms with things on her own time. Don’t force her and respect her wishes right now, even if it’s hard to do.

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Definetly not! 
She is 15 and if she doesn’t want to be part of the birth then that’s her choice..

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This doesn’t seem to be the popular opinion but I think she will be grateful in the end for seeing her new baby sibling on their birthday. She may not appreciate it this year or next year but I would put money on her being grateful as an adult. Teenagers are selfish, it is part of their brain development! So she’s not going to necessarily see the benefit until later. If you were having a vaginal delivery I would say don’t force it, but to see u after the.c section I think is perfectly fine!!

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No wtf

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She is having trouble adjusting to having another child in her house.  Forcing her to be there is interfering with her coping mechanism.  She might regret not being there but regret is how we learn.  She will have to live with her decisions, and that teaches her to make decisions carefully.  If you take away her choice she will not only be upset but she won’t learn anything other than that her feelings don’t matter to you.

Answer

since I'm 17 I'm gonna tell you how I would want my mom to ask me i would ask her or tell her look I really want you to be there to.meet your brother or sister but make it clear she doesn't have to.stay once she meets her brother or sister and once you hand her the baby she will more than likely be so head over heels she won't even remember she wanted to go home but tell her ahe is wanted there because she probably thinks she isn't wanted and all the time is gonna be spent on the baby and she thinks she is gonna get in the way I'm 24 weeks pregnant and my baby SIL is acting out towards her brother and I because she doesn't want the baby to show up and take her brothers time away and she always says that my son and I are stealing her brother and she hates us for it it's because ahe doesn't think we are gonna have time for her anymore and she tells me she hates Grayson and doesn't ever want to see him but she loves seeing his sonograms and she forgets about the whole thing about her brother won't have time for her anymore   but best of luck

Answer

I would have her come after the baby is born because it's going to be boring waiting around and she may not get to be in there with you during the section (I certainly wouldn't require that).

Should I Force My Daughter to Be at the Birth of Her Little Sister?

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