I always thought like... if I’m not cutting myself and drawing blood, I’m not a self harmer. Once my mind has been getting extreme and overbearing, I would resort to scratching myself, squeezing, suffocating fingers with phone strap, or let myself be hurt and punish myself accordingly mentally.

Just tonight, the mental pain (Guilt being more accurate because I have accidentally offended someone and they already forgave me wholeheartedly but I can’t forgive myself) got much sharper and all I wanted was to grab the nearby tape and use the built in cutter to rake myself. I stopped short of not drawing blood. (But the line marks are starting to bulge out a little bit).

My SO told me that I have the exact mindset that other self harmers that he personally knows. Is it really true that I’m a self harmer without resorting to the other extreme means of hurting myself?