I have an appointment Tuesday to get treatment for antenatal depression.

For the past 4 months I’ve been sinking deeper and deeper. All I can think about is how my life is over. Forever ruined.

I wish I could give my fertility to one of you who wants it. I see myself traveling, eating local food, sleeping in foreign countries. Not joining mommy groups and having play dates and overthinking which stroller to buy. And I’m in my thirties, it’s not like I didn’t get to live my life. I think maybe I should just get through the next 5 months, give the baby to my husband to raise and I can leave.