I have had depression and anxiety all my life. I used to self medicate with alcohol. I am not ashamed any longer. I am in recovery, but I fell off the wagon again. My own fault. I had a wonderful man who loved me, but took me for granted. So I filed for divorce. Now he wants to try again but I already moved on. The only thing is I am with someone who treats me like dirt but I stay because I feel like I deserve this treatment for not appreciating what I had. I just want them both to go away. They both have hurt me more than I can say. So today I self medicated. Now all I have is darkness and no one to care enough about me to miss me when I am gone. I have a plan to end my life tomorrow. I feel like if I plan it for tomorrow I might find the strength to keep going. Say a prayer for me.

Update: I am staying strong, I am alone now. I am going to focus on me. I am back in my safe haven where I help other addicts get better.