Poem: Waiting for you...

Wrote this poem the other day and thought those here would appreciate/relate to it.

Sitting... waiting for you

Knowing in my heart you are somewhere out there ready for me

I try all the combinations to help you on your way

Listen closely to what my body has to say,

for any sign that this time I've gotten things right

Yet another month passes and I feel further from you than I've ever felt before

I sometimes think maybe it's not meant to be

And my waiting and longing is for not

Then I see someone else's you

And I feel that pain deep inside, aching, yearning for you

And I go back to the drawing board

Ever hopeful, my emotions coming in waves, each more pronounced than the next

failure, disappointment... fear

I feel alone in the fight

Labeled sensitive by my doctors, impatient by friends, too high strung by the man I love

They're all right

But I don't know any other way

Each time I come back to you

I smell babies, pee on sticks, gain weight, lose weight

take every vitamin under the sun, read everything I can in hopes it will lead me to you

We bought a home for you

Pictured you tucked away in your bedroom fast asleep,

doing your homework in the living room,

bounding up our carpeted stairs

I've dreamt of Sunday evenings playing board games together,

you building tiny forts with your friends while your dad and I sip wine and listen to your laughter from downstairs

Everyone knows my desire for you runs deep

So they wait expectantly for news, news I'm not sure is ever coming

And still I sit here waiting, hoping, knowing you are somewhere out there on your way to me.