to be or not to be??

Question

i feel bad about  thinking  about  this, but i have really bad depression  and anxiety  and it has really been getting to me lately. i dont know if it is just hormones  going crazy  or what but i can barely get out of bed, i have no motivation  to work on the nursery  at all and i just feel helpless. this is my first baby, he was definitely  unexpected  but i have been so excited to be a mother this whole pregnancy  up until this point which is silly because he will be here in 8 weeks! i feel horrible for having thoughts like " i wish this would just go away, or... i don't  want to be a mom anymore ". these are silly thoughts i know but its just so hard to get excited  about  having a baby when i feel like everything is moving so fast and im just so scared. is this normal  or am i just having some type of crisis?? i am 19  and 32+4 wks

Answer

Honestly some of that sounds like normal fears that can happen. My first was planned but I still remember thinking, I wish I could undo this, I'm not ready. Once he was here, none of that was on my mind because I was so happy he was here, he was healthy (minus a 2 week NICU stay) and that we were eventually all home together.
That said, it sounds like maybe you are struggling with depression which can totally happen in pregnancy. It may be worth talking to your OB about medication you could take (I was on Zoloft when I got pregnant this time due to postpartum OCD after my son was born). I chose to stay on a really low dose through pregnancy to make sure I still felt good. The other thing worth having checked is your thyroid level... pregnancy puts your body in overdrive so it's possible to have thyroid issues in pregnancy and postpartum. I had postpartum thyroiditis on top of everything else and until we started to treat it, I felt like a hot mess. 
And, see if your hospital has a young moms group of some kind. It takes a village in pregnancy and in parenting so all the support you can get can only help. 💗💗💗

Answer

I had this too last pregnancy 💕 then babies here and you forget all about that because the second you see your baby your whole world changes and you’ll feel love that you’ve never felt before! Hang in there mama, you just may be nervous ! It definitely happens with the first child, trust me ❤️

Answer

Sounds like some jitters and hormones! I def think it'll pass - I find my mood is always up and down. Just when I think I can't do this anymore, a little sun comes out. 
You will be fine mama, feel all the feels and know everything ebbs and flows, even happiness.

to be or not to be??

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