to the local heroin dealer who took my dad; please read

i'm very fortunate because i have a roof over my head, food to eat every day, clothes on my body, and shoes on my feet. i even have luxuries that other teens don't have; a car, phone, ipad, tv, wifi. i also have a mom she's amazing i aspire to be like her one day, she's a nurse and she kicks ass at her job. my dad currently isn't in the picture well he is but he isn't. i'll get into that later. my parents divorced 2 years back, and it's still really heavy on me. my life before was very easy, i had it made. i'm not proud to say this, but my dad was a heavy drug dealer. he made big bank to where my dad wouldn't allow my mom to have a job. i was financially covered in EVERYTHING. we had cameras in our home, and i always seen people come in and out and i never understood why until now that i'm older. my dad was in and out of jail for a few years when i was younger for selling drugs so i'm not naive to the struggle life. when my dad was away my mom worked 2 jobs and i hardly ever saw her. (this was before she finished school for nursing) i was in 2nd or 3rd grade so i was used to grandma and grandpa. the state would give us food, and i had to go to boys and girls club all the time after school, and i know my mom struggled to get my clothes and shoes but i still always got it. now let's get into my dad, 5 years ago my dad got addicted to blac tar heroin. one of the worse drugs you can be on that you inject. i didn't know until 2 years ago when all the divorce things were going on. so a few years ago my dad sat my mom down to talk and my mom thought he was going to be cheating but then he told her he was an addict and my mom was in shock. she was working as a medial assistant at the hospital so she talked to the providers about taking a leave of absence to take care of him and the providers gave her treatments for him to take. they didn't work. we started losing everything slowly. we lost our house and moved in with my grandparents, then he sold our car, and i never thought about why.. like why? but now i know it was for the drugs. we had a house that we would rent out to people and all of a sudden the people who lived there stopped paying cash and started paying with heroin. my mom didn't know where $800 a month was going. blac tar is expensive i heard. anyways little stuff would go missing too like our xbox, my ipod, micheal kors glasses. he would have trace marks on his arms (from injecting). living with my grandparents was different for me but i got used to it i lived there for 2 years (my dads side) then the divorce comes out of of no where. it was my 8th grade beggining of summer in may when i was on my way to the court house. i remember this day so clearly... it's painful. me and my mom were in the car driving there and my dad was texting her, calling her, sending voicemails, begging her saying please let's not do this we can work this out, please liz we can do this (i always wanted them to divorce because of how much they fought until it actually happened) anyways she didn't give in, and he came in and i looked at him and he was sad. he said "i'm sorry" with like lip language. so i sat there, they called their case up and my dad got in front of the court and said that he loves her and that yes he was an addict and he was trying but it's hard. he poured his heart out but my mom was far too gone. it killed me, my soul is left there. when he said he was an addict i thought to coke or something not anything major. me and my mom moved, my dad got really bad. he had nothing. everything he had was sold. in december last year he was really sick in the hospital so sick that they had to fly him to lubbock tx (one of the best hospitals) i live in a small city so the hospitals here aren't too good. lubbock is an hour and half away. so my mom took me out of school and she was so scared i can see it in her face and eyes. i looked at her phone and she kept texting him saying "please fight bobby don't leave us" i was so scared. we got there, and he was diagnosed with mrca. it spread to his heart, and all over his body. he was very sick, he had a tube in his throat to breathe, and we couldn't touch him. we had to wear gounds and gloves. he ended up having open heart surgery, his stay was 4 months in the hospital. my christmas present was for him to survive this and the surgery and i got it. i knew this was serious when my family from denver all started coming down to see him crying. when they released him he told me he was moving to california to start over and that he would come home soon. i thought this was okay because they told him no more drugs or he really will pass away, that he made it. he left, and he was staying with my uncle until they caught him doing drugs in the garage same drug and he just left. they kicked him out and he moved with my other tio in denver where he now lives on the streets. all he has is a backpack and a bike. one day my mom took me for a cruise in el paso and she told me everything i never knew about the divorce. she said she sent him to many rehab's but he checked himself out. she would find needles laying around and she didn't want me around that. SHE TRIED. my dad went from having a house, family, cars to a bike and a backpack. i never really understood why drug dealers get so many years in prison now i do. drug dealers ruin family's. they take everything from their clients. they even take their lives. they take so many lives. i hate drug dealers. they get people to become addicts. i hate drug dealers. i hate them so much. they took my dad from me. my dad gave up his whole life for drugs. whoever got him started ruined me. i don't get to see him anymore. he's so skinny. i don't get to watch movies with him or my family anymore. i don't get to go out to eat with them, i don't get to see them both at the end of my day, no more holidays together, my favorite no more road trips together. we were supposed to travel the world as a family and now we can't because drugs took him from me. he was my bestfriend. blac tar heroin you took my fucking bestfriend. not only did you ruin his life but you ruined mine forever and my moms. now my mom is broken building herself up. she works late taking care of patients to distract her from coming home some nights, i know that when she sees me she sees my dad and it hurts her. she talks to men trying to fill the void that you blac tar heroin made. to the drug dealer who provides my dad with drugs: now i cry every single day. i cry myself to sleep. i'm depressed i'm on medication. i hate waking up. i hate living in a house where my dads not here. i hate myself. the only thing i get is ft calls from my dad and now i get to see how skinny he is. he told me he gets stuff to drink and he can't carry it too good on the bike and he spills it on the street sometimes and he doesn't have money to buy something else. to the local heroin dealer, you took my dad my whole life. go to hell. karma is so real. even tho you took my dad i still pray your family will never feel my family's pain. my dad was a drug dealer and the drugs turned around and took him. drugs don't love you dad, i do. come home.