It’s one of those days where for some reason I start to rethink everything I’ve done or haven’t done. It all started with Abe taking at the table about everything he had done then everyone was asking why I didn’t stand up for myself but you know what I did but they just knocked me down again and again, laughing at me, mocking me. I know it’s banter and everything and I actually don’t care because they are all just pieces of shit and to be honest I wish so bad I could say this to their faces without them making some smart ass comment. Then I tried started to think more positive again but then SUPRISE!!!!! Couldn’t think of anything. I have no interests or anything I’m good at and that thought made me think and question if I even had a part in the world and if I went missing if anyone other than my friends and family would realise or care. I felt like I have no part in the world, like I don’t impact it. So so far this blinking para sounds like I’m sucidal but I’m not, not today anyway. It also sounds like I’m depressed I’m not.