I'm a shitty wife.

My husband & I have been together for a few years, & like everyone else we've gone through the honeymoon phase. Everything was perfect. We were silly with eachother, we would be open about things, sex everyday, hardly any serious arguments, just perfect. We now have a son, & I've changed so much, more than I'd like to admit. 95% of the time when he touches me, it always means he wants sex. We no longer cuddle because everything is sex. I'm walking by? He'll smack/grab my butt. I'm laying on his lap? He'll try to get me to give him a bj. It's just always sex, & I hate it. I love that he loves my body, but lately I can't stand him touching me, AT ALL. I'm at the point where I purposely avoid cuddling with him just to avoid any type of sex. It makes me so sad, & I've told him this. Then he'll actually try to like 2 days, then everything will go back. My sex drive isn't what it was. I'm not who I was. I no longer get ready, most of the days I lounge around letting the house get messy, & I hardly ever do anything nice for him. My excuse is always "the baby", but we both know it's not true. I just feel like we're in different places in our relationship & it breaks my heart to admit it. I don't know how to fix this, or me. I just want to be that person he fell in love with. He always says we shouldn't let our kids stop "our" time, & he's so right. I just can't bring myself to it. Anyway.. This is more of me just getting this off my chest. He's the most beautiful person, & I love him so so much. It makes me cry just thinking about how unfair I've been to him. He's such a good man. ** Our son is 9mos old, so it isn't like I just gave birth. Also, I'm 3 months pregnant with our 2nd so, I just feel helpless.