I've always wanted sons and been uncomfortable with the idea of daughters (long unrelated story). But along with having a boy, for me, there is also the 50/50 risk of passing on hemophilia. So here I am on my third pregnancy (to make it through the 1st trimester) and my third boy. My first two beat the odds and I am now consumed with fear for the third. Is it even reasonable to think I could beat 50/50 odds three times?! I am filled with regret and guilt - I feel like I should've had my tubes tied and been grateful to not have continued the hemophilia disorder in my family. I'm hoping for negative results but in my heart I feel like its a guarantee - I cursed this baby and continued the cycle. ☹