FTM & i already feel like a shitty mom 😔

I had my baby September 5th. During labor and birth I had a high fever. Baby had a slight infection from it and has to stay at the hospital until Wednesday. I've been discharged already. The hospital has been wonderful and let's me stay in an unoccupied room. Baby boy just came off his monitors yesterday and they're letting him stay with me in the room. Just taking him when they need to for antibiotics. He also has jaundice.

Last night was so rough. It was his first day/night in the room with me. Well I haven't slept in over 24 hours now. He screams Everytime I put him down.

I have the option to leave him here in the NICU unit and come see him whenever and pump at home and bring that in a couple times during the day. I wasn't able to have him his first 3 days. Now he's able to stay with me but I just want to go home 😔 im very overwhelmed. I'm so tired and hungry. Idk what to do. I feel like a shitty mom if I leave him here 😔

I'm here by myself. My husband is taking care of the dog and cats. He comes up here during the day but can't stay.