My mom and me have had a rocky relationship for the last 8 years or so. Growing up we were pretty close although I was more the mom sometimes. She has tantrums like a child, yells, stomps and slams things. and comes across rude, know it all and abrassive sometimes. She has a bad past; her grandfather sexually assaulted her, her dad beat her and when she was 21 she was robbed at gun point, kidnapped raped and was left for dead. She's had a tough life.

But so have I, I was molested from the age of 2-5 by my babysitter and raped and abussed when I was 15 . She makes everything about her and a few years ago we had a big fight, she kicked me out based on rumors about me wanting to move in with my dad (whom she hates) even though the rumor was not true. I've gone to therapy and I've gotten help for my past but she won't. She will go up until a point and then she stops going claiming she cant trust therapists (since my step mom is one) She does drugs although now she claims she stopped doing E and only smokes weed now. She always asks for stuff and says inappropriate things. Its come to the point where I dont like her all that much. She's my mom so I try to have some relationship with her but at an arms length. I got engaged in may and she said it would be fine with her if my step mom helped more with the planning because she's not big into weddings and didn't have one herself so she has no idea how to plan one. But now she's getting upset she's not involved with the wedding. My step mom is a piece of work and refuses to even see my moms face. So I'm doing all the wedding stuff by myself which kinda sucks..but it is what it is.

My mom revealed to me she has a brain tumor - I went to doctors to make sure she was telling the truth which she is but it's not a cancer tumor. She is mentally abusive and I'm always in a bad mood after seeing her. She's trying to guilt me into having her in my life more because of a tumor she's had unknowingly for 15 years. I feel guilty sometimes and other times I feel numb. I'm planning and paying for my entire wedding by myself and I don't feel like having her in the planning process because she'll make empty promises. Am I an awful person/daughter? She always liked to bring up what happened to me in the past as the reason why I treat her so crappy and I've repeatedly told her to stop bringing up the past.

I'm just so frustrated but feel like I'm being an awful person