My mom and I have never had an easy relationship, but in the past few years it has been really good. She was with her fiancé who I really liked and she was really involved in my wedding, it felt like we were actually friends for some time. This February her and her fiancé broke up and that was the start of our strain (she was caught at another mans house a few months prior and never fessed up to it). In March she started dating a new guy and wanted me to meet him constantly, I kept telling her it was too soon and I didn’t feel comfortable. Come early April I found out I was pregnant, I tried to get together with her a few times to tell her but every time she said she wanted to bring him so I never did it (I wanted it to be a special moment between me and her). Finally I decided I would tell her Mother’s Day, I politely asked her to just leave the day for me and her and she agreed. Perfect right?

Wrong. My family decided to have a Mother’s Day get together with all of the aunts and cousins, so I asked her to have breakfast at my house prior. I had a gift ready for her, it was a onesie that said “happy Mother’s Day grandma”. I had everything set. The night before Mother’s Day my mom texted me saying that her boyfriend was going with her to the get together, and basically saying that either he comes to breakfast at my house (still have never met him) or she cant come. I lost my fucking shit.

She was constantly choosing her boyfriend over me. A huge fight broke out between everyone in the family via phone because my cousins knew I was pregnant and was trying to plan a special moment for me and my mom. The whole day got called off and I never saw my mom on Mother’s Day. A couple weeks passed with no contact with her, every day that passed I got more and more pissed at what happened. My aunt (my moms twin sister) found out through the grapevine that I was pregnant and I’m sure she told her. I later texted my mom basically saying that I hope she was happy with her new boyfriend because it was evident as she kept choosing him over her family. I told her I was pregnant and that she constantly kept ruining everything. She responded saying she had no idea and how terrible I was for telling her via text message

Right. Because I had made absolutely no effort to make that moment 100% special. Because she couldn’t leave her boyfriend home for one god damn minute is the reason why I felt I was forced to tell her over text message. Long story short, we fought for a long time and eventually have been trying to mend things... but it’s different now. We used to see each other a lot and text but now there is just so much tension we try to avoid each other. She has been more absent in my life now that I am pregnant than she has ever been and I am extremely hurt. I feel like she only cares about her boyfriend and doesn’t care about her grandchild (her first one). She hasn’t been involved in my baby shower except for asking me if her boyfriend is invited. She says I am constantly pushing her out of my life and honestly I feel like it is such a cop out. An excuse for her to not be involved. Anyone have any advice for how to handle this situation? I just wish I had my mom back before this guy was in the picture.