So afraid

I had severe ppd, ppa and ppocd after my first. I was hospitalized. I had a therapist and was medicated. I got off meds before baby 2 and had no issues after my second. But I'm pregnant with my third and I am so scared of going through what I went through again that I'm already starting to experience what I did before. I am seeing my therapist as soon as I can but not soon enough. I cant enjoy being pregnant, this hit me out of nowhere! Dont even know what triggered it!