Hi! Long post ahead, but looking for some love from other moms. I am 17 weeks with my 2nd and recently found out it is a boy.

I have a 2.5 year old boy and simply adore him in all his “boyness”, and always knew I wanted to have a son, so I was surprised to find myself so emotional and “sad” to find out number 2 was a boy as well.

We’ve planned on having 2 kids (for various reasons) and I guess it is just hitting me, on top of hormones, that I won’t get to have a daughter.

Let me add that this has been a “high risk” pregnancy (short summary: high NT requiring lots of genetic testing, scanning, and echocardiograms etc) and things are finally looking like we will likely have a healthy baby. This is also my “rainbow baby” after a miscarriage at 10 weeks (that I “felt” like from day one was a girl) earlier in the year. So when people say “the gender doesn’t matter, just be happy you have a healthy child” I know this deep in my bones and absolutely AM happy for a healthy child. So please don’t think I take that for granted.

That doesn’t change the fact that now when I see little girls with their moms or big brothers being so sweet with little sisters or daddys and daughters looking at each other in that way only daddys and daughters can, I keep tearing up thinking how my son won’t be that brother or me that mother or my husband that father. Does that make sense?

That said, I am sure there are so many out there with boys only who have some great happy stories. Can you share them please?!? Specifically boys 3 years apart. I feel like if they were closer in age they would make better playmates, so for some reason I worry about the age difference more with brothers than a brother/sister.

Just looking to cheer up, because in my brain I know I should be over the moon. And in my heart I know I will love this little fella in a special way that is all his own, but somehow there is a spot in the middle that is grieving for the little girl whose hair I won’t get to brush.

Thanks for listening