Would you stay in a relationship if your SO had a toxic family?

Question

i left the man i saw myself marrying (we were together for 4.5 years) because of his toxic family. i have put up with it for so long and just can’t do it anymore. his family with whom he lives with treats him and everyone else like they’re beneath them. in reality they aren’t anything special. i can’t see myself marrying into something so crazy but yet i love him, i just don’t want my future to be with his family. i wanted it to be with him, yes, but i especially can not see raising my children around such selfish people. also, i would never expect him to give up his family for me as you get the hand you’re dealt and make the best of it. i personally believe family is a significant part in your life and i would want my significant others family to be actively involved in my child’s life... i just feel i need to do what’s best for me and my future (p.s. i’m not pregnant i know i made it seem that way but children is something i see a lot of in my future)

Answer

I mean to each their own...my family is pretty toxic but my husband stands by my side and supports me whenever I need it. We love each other so much that he says I’m worth it. We will be expecting our first child in a couple months and we will be keeping our distance from my family. If we aren’t toxic as a couple, and we love each other I don’t see that as a reason to split but it’s your life.

Answer

You always marry the family, not just the person. Sounds like you made a really tough decision, but it was probably the right one.

Answer

It does depend. If he lives with said toxic family... Yeah, probably okay to get out before it's too late. My mom is HORRIBLE. Mentally and physically abusive when I was younger and still tries to create drama and spread hatred whenever she is around anyone. She walked out of my graduation as well as my wedding. But my husband and I just ignore her for the most part. I learned to block her out years ago and luckily he doesn't have to deal with her other than holidays and family events (where she is for the most part as decent as she can be). We decided years ago that when we have children she is having NOTHING to do with them. But we both have an issue with her, so it isn't one sided. I don't stand up for her actions or try to defend her, and would have no problem with being completely closed off from her (which is pretty much how we are other than holidays when we all get together for dinner at my grandparents). 
But if your SO wants to be involved with their toxic family then that's when there would be an issue, and there is no shame in putting your mental health first babe.

Answer

You did what you felt was right for you. Honestly to me i wouldn't have because i can separate myself from them. I been with my bf for 10 + years and barely been around his family (nothing really wrong with them that's just how it's been) and it hasn't been hard not to. You would be marrying him technically not his family. I know people say you are marrying the family too but honestly that's your choice if you want to be around them or not

Would you stay in a relationship if your SO had a toxic family?

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