Breaking up


My boyfriend and I are taking a break from our relationship for a little bit, but I think that we are going to break up ultimately in the end. AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF! We both are insanely hurt and nothing big happened, but we both asked if our relationship was going to go anywhere. Last night we called each other to try and resolve it (granted we are doing long distance so we can’t do it it face to face). So we talked, mostly cried, and a whole lot of silence cause neither of us wanted to say anything. He wanted to break up because he feels like I put in a lot more effort then he does and he doesn’t want to drag me along if he can’t love me the way I need. So we both decided that we would take a week or so to think about it, take time away from each other, no communication. Nothing.

I thought he loved me, but I don’t know if that’s true anymore, especially since he thinks he’s disappointing me. He said that he doesn’t see the future with us together, but I do, and that’s hard as hell. I don’t want to lose my best friend, and most certainly don’t think I can live without him. Last night was the most pain I’ve ever felt emotionally. It went from really great of a relationship and we were doing well and then to the next day it all was falling apart. I’m scared. Because I love him and I don’t know what we are going to decide after we take time apart. It hurts. The last thing we said to each other ended in sobbing on both ends with an abrupt hang up from me cause I couldn’t bare to listen to him cry. He sounded so hurt and broken.

Is it bad that I wish we could work it out? We’ve been through so much and I don’t see why he thinks that it won’t work. Am I hanging on too something that won’t last? I don’t want to lose my best friend.