Self esteem at its lowest!

Before my son I actually started to love how I looked. I ate healthy, worked out daily and loved myself .. photo below of my pre baby body...

Then I got pregnant and gained 50 ish lbs and NEVER lost it!! It took me 20 min to even find a photo that kind of shows my body now since I’m so sick of it.

Now, here I am pregnant again and literally have pain all through my body because of all this extra weight. I’m only about 11 weeks pregnant but I feel like I’m 39 weeks pregnant because of the pain. I hate how I look and feel like I’m not enjoying this pregnancy like I did with my son . The photo below is 3 weeks ago and obviously I can’t hide my pregnancy at all.