Please don’t judge 😩

Okay so ladies, has anyone experienced this?

I had an ectopic on April, it messed up my Fallopian tube and i had to have emergency surgery and it was my first baby and I’m still hurting and I’m still super emotional and me taking birth control pills doesn’t help either. I know this sounds like I’m bitter but please try to put yourself in my shoes 😭. I noticed my sister-in-laws face looked different ( she looked like the face of a pregnant woman) it sounds weird but I actually mentioned it to my husband and he told me his brother told him that she was but not to mention anything to anyone. So technically they haven’t announced it yet but I know they will want to get the whole family together and announce it. But I feel like my heart won’t be able to take it. I feel so jealous that they will be having a baby while I just lost mine 😭😭😭 . I mean I’m happy for them I just feel like I won’t be able to contain myself from feeling upset because I know that It could’ve been me announcing that I was pregnant 😭😭😭😭. I know it’s so bad to be selfish and only think of myself but it’s just such a recent loss and I don’t know what to do when that moment comes 😭😭😭 I’m asking God to really help me prepare for that moment, any advice would help thanks in advance ladies