Ok... so I just need to vent.. I love my husband, but lately he is really... really irritating me. Here’s what happened- he has always been bad with money- ever since we met. I handle all of our bills and finances. Over the summer his car died- he did need to get a new car... so he got a very nice truck- which he has always wanted. He works hard, so although it was expensive, I swallowed my urge to tell him that it’s extravagant and let him just do his thing. But we did talk about not spending any money on other things that we don’t really need for a while. Meanwhile- we have done nothing all summer—- I’ve been trying my best to save as much money as possible so I can stay home as long as possible with the baby. So the other day my husband and my stepson come home from running errands. My stepson tells me that “dad wanted to buy a pair of $150 shoes.” My husband insisted that they were only $50, and he’s not buying them. Fast forward 5 days, and I happen to be in our shed and I notice a bag from LLbean.. and notice a receipt for a pair of $150 shoes bought the other day... paid for in cash, so I wouldn’t notice it on the bank statement. I am sooo mad—- and I don’t know if my anger is justified or if I’m over reacting. Of course I confronted him right away about this. Maybe my anger comes from a couple places-

1. I feel like He always plays me as the “bad guy” controlling his life instead of realizing that we are a team.

2. He buys stuff for himself ALL the time... before his truck, it was a VERY expensive German Shepherd, before that it was an outdoor tv.... etc... I have been needing a new washer and dryer and sofa for years... but I never get that cause I feel like he’s constantly sucking up our savings. If I say anything about him buying something he gets all “stop controlling me blah blah blah”. And he says- you can buy whatever you want- I don’t care. That easy for him to say... he doesn’t realize our bills and how much money goes “out” every month—- despite my best efforts to include him in bill paying... he still doesn’t really understand.

3. He inevitably resorts to comparing me to my mother whenever this comes up—— which really really offends me. My mom (although a good saver) was not a loving and caring mother. I have no memories of her ever being kind or happy when I was little—- and now that I am becoming a mom, this is probably the most offensive thing you can say to me. I have told him this- but I don’t think he really understands how deeply it hurts me or what my childhood was actually like- because he only knows what my mom is like now... still not super warm and caring, but at least she’s not bitter and angry all the time.

I’m I just raging cause I’m sooo pregnant or are my feelings justified? I feel like I’m on the verge of tears at any given moment. Any helpful insight would be much appreciated... I don’t like talking to my friends about this, because despite it all- I would say we do have a good marriage and I do love him and he is a good person... I don’t want my friends to think poorly of him... if that makes sense.

Thank you!