TTC Depression after MC

I just need some cheering up, I know I’m not alone.

My husband and I unexpectedly became pregnant February of this year. I was so happy to become a mom. In April, the day before our 12 week check (end of 1st tri), we had a missed miscarriage. The baby passed away at 9 weeks. The baby came naturally no surgeries or crazy pill. I was devastated as you could imagine. The doctor gave me so medication and told me to come back once the bleeding stopped. (The medication only lasted until the end of April).

In May, we went back to the doctor and she told us, after the first full cycle we could start trying again. I feel like every month since my cycle started back up I’m been getting weird symptoms that tricks me to into thinking it’s pregnancy. We’d get extremely excited that it may be pregnancy but it just turned it to be a period.

June- metal tasted mouth/nauseousness

July - nauseousness/back pain

August - cramps like crazy and tiredness

September (this month) - extremely tender boobs

At this point I’m truly not sure what’s going on. Since getting the ok, we’ve been using first response opk and trying every month. I’m so depressed. I’m not looking forward to October. I’m not sure what symptoms I’m going to get. I’m tired of getting excited to just get upset. Idk I’m just so sad.