He's decided that he can't try anymore or at least right now. I'm so upset, I've cried to much that I'm just numb. Packed up bags last night and later today baby girl and I are going to my parents house for awhile. I've done so much these past few weeks even dealing with Postpartum depression I still made sure he was okay that he was validated and noticed and praised. But I guess his mind and heart are to blocked to see that. He says this is what "we" need me staying with my mom but really it's not what i need, what I need is the love, the random hugs, I want him to stare at me again with those I love you eyes. Most importantly I just wish he'd talk. The years we've been together I guess he still can't let me in, he says he has trust issues I get it but 2 years together 3 years as best friends. How do we raise a child when he can't talk?

Now here I am, feels like I'm standing in the middle of nowhere with a 4 week old baby, alone.with that rain clouds that follows you around.

I want us to be better. Lord knows how much I love him but he says eleven when he says it sometimes he doesn't feel it, doesn't mean it. What the hell does that mean?

It's like hes just here for her and not me anymore.

I guess I just needed somewhere to vent. Get it out.