2 under 2

So my son Jaxon is 15 months and my daughter LailaRose is going to be 2 weeks old tomorrow. Both complicated pregnancies as Jaxy was born at 34 weeks and Ro was born at 37 weeks by emergency c section where I need a heavy blood transfusion and they had to give me a slight myomectomy. It was horrible. But being home with both kids where my son is a mamas boy and obviously my daughter needs attention constantly because she is so little, my PPD instantly kicked in again. My husband works all day and I'm here alone trying to cope and figure out what to do first. Feedings, changing, playtime etc. My mom and grandma help me out a lot thank God and they'll take my son to daycare during the day sometimes and I'll have my daughter home with me. I feel horrible shipping him off to school even though he loves it. Just feel bad still. My husband doesn't really understand PPD and because of that, he gets frustrated and that causes us to argue when in all actuality I just need him to understand how UNEASY this is for me.. I'm trying to wrap my head around this still.. I dont get much sleep AT ALL because my son likes to sleep with us and refuses to sleep anywhere else and my daughter is up most of the night wanting to eat so we are all up and my husband and I are trying to tackle them both. I feel sorry for him because he does have to get up early for work so I try not to disturb him and do it on my own. He sees me struggle especially since the PPD has caused constant migraines to the point where I can barely see straight so he tries to do everything he can it's just frustrating..Unfortunately my in laws are useless as they dont come around or see my kids at all. His mother came to the hospital after we told her that it will be just us and we are having complications so not a good time. She came anyway knowing that would piss me off. So I try to stay away from them as well. My husband knows that my mom and grandma will be around and pick up the pieces while he's gone but I feel like I'm wearing them out. meanwhile, when he did ask his mom to come and help, she is so busy. Bullshit.

Sometimes I wonder if we would have waited for our 2nd child what would happened but then I'm so thankful shes here and just telling myself that we can get through this.. Sorry guys, just venting..