Help! Instagram fitness cousin

My cousin has in the last two years completed her weight loss goals and posts her body transformations constantly. She’s been getting down to something like 20% body fat (I have no idea how weightlifting works)

I’m happy for her but I have had eating problems and stuff last year which I’m trying to recover from. I’m really happy for her but I feel like she did it when she realised I was skinnier than her. She used to say about how skinny I was (I lost my extra weight from my puberty and grew taller and became ‘lanky’ but that wasn’t weight lost from my eating problems)

Now she’s skinner than me and I’m putting on weight I’m staring feel abit shitty. I feel like this is only because she’s very targetting and direct In her posts - “ you should reach your goals blah blah, go to gym, weight lift blablah”

It’s like yeah I get it but I’m not in the right frame of mind to do it. I’m freaked out thinking about people looking at me in the gym.

I know it’s because I have a lot of issues that I’m recognising and trying fix. I am just not ready as a person to bei seeing this sort of stuff. When I was not eating these types of people would be in my instagram search feed.

I don’t really feel like I can unfollow her because she would ask and definitely get offended. I just feel like she won’t understand.

I can’t begin to tell you how this feels. It’s like constant reminder that yeah remember when you were fucked up. It’s like a hell. She’s a trigger.

I also feel like I want to delete all social media but I feel like nobody would talk to me in real life because I won’t have worthiness for the gram (instagram). Everyone would lose interest in me. But idk.

Does anyone feel like this?