*Trigger warning* Seeing my rapist

Hello Ladies!

I don’t even know how to type this. Before it happened, I never saw myself being a victim of it, although I guess no one every really does. Long story short, last year, I dated a guy who basically destroyed me - he was emotionally abusive, inconsistent, controlling, and a cheater. Last summer, he raped me after getting upset that I changed my mind about letting him try to make me orgasm (I was scared bc I hadn’t before) about three times and each time I had to push him off of me. For a long time after, I was so depressed and down about myself, regardless of the BFP that I got after breaking up with him, that I drank and popped pills. I told him I was pregnant and he said he would support me but I was so caught up in my depression that I miscarried. Well yesterday, I was at work and he ended up coming in (it’s a fast food place) and as soon as he noticed me, he stared me down, all the way up until he left. I kept feeling his eyes watching me and heard him stutter as he talked to his friends (he does that when he’s anxious) and it freaked me out so much that I broke down. And than for all of last night and this morning, I’ve felt off. I don’t understand why it bothers me so much- it’s been a year, I’ve moved on, I stopped drinking and taking pills, I’m with someone who treats me 1000x better, and I’m just overall happier. Why does it still bother me so much?