My best friend is pregnant...

Hi ladies,

I am really struggling with this. I want so badly to be happy for her. However my husband and I have been trying without succession for 2 years to get pregnant. I suffer from endometriosis, so on top of being disappointed every month, I’m also in extreme pain most of the month. Now, enter the best friend. She is in a physically and mental abusive relationship with a controlling douchebag. She has a 4 year old with a different douche bag and she isn’t a bad mom. But she isn’t exactly a good one either. She doesn’t even strap the 4 year olds car seat in or strap her into the car seat.

She got off her birth control this past month because she said that her birthday control was only giving her a period once every three months and wanted to get it every month. She has continually told me that she didn’t want another child and she has told her boyfriend this as well and told him that she was no longer on birth control. But she continued to be unsafe during sex.... so low and behold with in one month she is pregnant. Which when she called me and told me she might be she kept saying how she’s be screwed if she was and she didn’t want to be and so on. I get her to take a test while on the phone with me and it’s positive. Now I held my shit together until we hung up and I cried for hours.

It hurts me so much that she knows about my struggles and how upset I’ve been for two years of negative rest. And she chose me to call still with no care of my feelings. Now on the same hand I will always be there for her whether she is deserving or not. And I want to be there and help her. This time though it is causing me so much pain. She is sending me pictures of birth announcements and asking for my help with this and that and I know she will want me to be there for everything. And it’s going to kill me.

Some background on our friendship, it’s incredibly one sided. It’s always about her and anytime I try to talk with her about my struggles she LITERALLY ignores me and talks about herself again. I have known her my entire life so it’s not easy to just put some distance there. Also she can be very dramatic and her family feeds into it so if I were to say anything about my being upset it would turn into a HUGE ordeal in which I am a terrible person and she an angel. (It’s happened before)

Am I being selfish for wanting her to put a small wall up and for her to talk with someone else about all of this stuff? I just can’t stop crying and feeling depressed since she told me.