My sister in law and I went to the same high school, where she was a pretty big bully in my life. A few years down the road, my brother and her start dating. The relationship with my brother suffered because I didn’t feel comfortable around her, and when I finally confronted her to put the past behind us, she actually turned it around and said I wasn’t accepting. Ever since then, it’s been a battle to be accepted by her.

Fast forward a few years, we’re still struggling.

They just got married in late April. I’ve tried hard to make a relationship with her, but she wants nothing to do with my husband and I. I’ve heard such disgusting things she’s said about my family, especially me, and not once have I confronted her about them. I won’t go to detail, but she’s a very hurtful and toxic person. Now we’re both pregnant with our first, and wouldn’t it figure that she’s due a week before us. When I suggested a joined family shower, she told me “yeah, I’m not interested.” And when I asked about a small gender reveal with the family, she said “no, haha.” Now that my sister (who my sister in law is such a suck up to) is wanting to throw my gender reveal for the family, my sister in law suddenly wants to be included. My sister isn’t very impressed. We had complications early on in our pregnancy, and she told a cousin that it would be “more convenient if she was pregnant alone.” I try not to read too far into that, but it hurts, nonetheless.

We have a three year old nephew from my sister who got pregnant at 18 (that doesn’t matter to me, I love him more than life itself). When she heard that we were having difficulty getting pregnant, she said “maybe we’re supposed to be the ones to have the first grandkid.” I said “what about our nephew?” She said “the first LEGITIMATE grandkid.” I could have slapped her.

It took us about a year to get pregnant, and as shameful as I feel for saying it, I don’t feel like I want to share such an important part of my life with someone who thinks so little of me. Is that horrible of me? I don’t even know where to go from here 😔