Am I in the wrong?

Question

My wife is pregnant with our first child and my mother in law insists to be present at the ultrasounds, I said no as I want these moments to be experienced by my wife and I ourselves.  Wife is caught in the middle as her mom is trying to guilt her into letting her be there. Am I in the wrong for barring her mother?

Answer

Nobody gets to go to mine besides my fiancé.
He goes with to every prenatal appointment, every ultrasound and he will be the only one present in the hospital. I personally decided I don't want any visitors in the hospital because I want that time for my fiancé and I to cocoon and bond with our daughter for the first few days after birth.
Those are special and sacred moments, and nobody else needs to share in them.

Answer

Depends on her relationship with her mother. You can have an opinion, but at the end of the day some girls need their moms. At ultrasounds, in delivery.. and I’m sorry to say that is 100% up to her. She’s the one who’s pregnant, going through all of these changes. She needs a support system and that doesn’t mean you’re not enough, but she needs to be surrounded by love and understanding and she gets to choose who it all comes from.

Answer

I don’t think you are in the wrong at all. My husband is the same. My mom can be pretty overbearing (this is our first child and her first grandchild) and he wants to make sure this is an experience for us in becoming a family. There is only so much of an experience for men when we are pregnant and I wouldn’t want to make ultrasounds or the delivery any less of an experience by making him share it with other people. 
He’s even asked me if we can keep visitors from coming in for at least a couple hours after our son is born. He wants those first few hours to be only us and have that bonding time without having to worry about entertaining people. I’m actually really happy he has such a strong opinion about it. It comes down to this being our child and our experience. We don’t have to share it with people if we don’t want to 🤷‍♀️

Answer

Those moments, and the birth, was for me and my so only. Nobody was allowed . I don't think youre wrong at all.

Answer

When my mum had me there were no ultrasounds (at least not in my country).. she was so excited when we showed her the pics of our 12 week scan that my husband suggested bringing her along to our next one at 20 weeks. I am actually quite excited to let her experience this. She loves this boy more than life itself already and I see no harm in her coming to one scan...

Answer

I think it is a decision you and your wife need to come to on your own. I had my mom, dad and husband with for the 20 week ultrasound and my husband and mom were in the room while I delivered. It is what felt comfortable for me and my husband agreed to it.

Answer

We let the moms come to the elective gender ultrasound so they were included that way but it’s special to be just You and ypur wife

Answer

What does your wife want? It’s not fair to put her in the middle like this

Answer

My husband and I try to say yes to each other as much as possible. If one person feels more strongly about it than the other, then we try to accommodate the spouse with the stronger feelings, or compromise at the very least.  If it really matters to you and she's feeling neutral about it (not just being wishy washy so as to not upset you), then your MIL shouldn't go, because it's more important to you that she not be there than it is to her for her to be there. If it really mattered to her that her mom be there and the thought of her not being there saddened her, then you should compromise.

Answer

No, you're not. Here it's pretry much solved by only allowing one adult.

Am I in the wrong?

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