Idk what I should do. Help?

Question

So let me start by saying my husband and I have been married almost 8 yrs and have 2 kids together (6yr and 2months) and one from a previous relationship (my stepson 9yrs). We've been open with just about everything because my anxiety is pretty bad.
About a week ago I had a nightmare that he left me for another woman. He comforted me and all that jazz. Fast forward to this morning and I was pulling up something on his phone for him and I see where he had been searching virgins on tumblr and there was quite a bit of naked females. Now that I know of, he's never looked at porn before and be knows I'm uncomfortable with it. Which was established at the beginning of the relationship. On top of my issues with self-esteem that he is very aware of. 
Idk I guess my question is, should I confront him about it? If thats something he wants to do, I don't want to stop him but it makes me feel like its not me he's thinking of when we make love. Thanks in advance.

Answer

Most people watch porn. Men and women. Out of those most don't want anyone to know and are embarrassed by it. It's just a quick thing to get them off. In no way does it mean he does not find you attractive anymore or doesn't love you or doesn't want have sex with you. Most likely he loses interest in the images as soon as he gets himself off. You could ask him about it but be prepared he may get embarrassed and lie to you. I would not think much of it at all. Just let it go.

Answer

Talk to him about it very calm and open. Ask him if that’s something he would rather not refrain from doing. Assure him that you’ll try to keep an open mind about it because you don’t want to feel like he’s lying, I know that can come from anxiety. And if its Something he will continue doing talk about what he can do to help you not feel insecure or insignificant as a way to balance out any anxiety there.  I know my husband watches it but I tell him I won’t tell you not to do it but i don’t want to know you do it. If that makes sense lol. Then I just tell him how he can make me feel sufficient and like he’s attracted to me when my anxiety gets the best of me. So far it works, I just have to make sure I communicate with him if I need more or something different. As I would want him to do if he needed anything from me.

Answer

Ask him about it?

Idk what I should do. Help?

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